The Alternative Dictionary +3

Maintenance : A mans cash surrender value

Mistress : Something between a mister and a mattress

Negligence : Absentmindedly answering the door in a nightie

Negligent : Badly made nightwear

Obscenity : Anything that gives a judge a boner

Odious : Bad poetry

Out of bounds : An exhausted kangaroo

Palaver : A kind of woolly jumper

Pandamonium : A black and white musical instrument

Parachute : A double-barrelled shotgun

Porcupine : An irrational craving for bacon

Reoriented : Sent back to China

Salmoning :The experience of spending the entire day swimming against the current.

Stalemate : An old spouse

Syntax : The money in the collection plate after a Sunday service

Tantamount : Riding an elderly French aunt

Tequila : The reason the Mexican shot his cheating wife!

Uninstalled : Fired

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